okay, dahil na-inspire ako sa page ni "chen" kung sino ka man .. Thanks! =)

Habang nagsasabi ako kanina kay Precious ng mga rants ko about school, sinabi nya na " Yung Feasib (franchising chu chu)  yung highlight sa course nyo.. "

Feasib is killing me. As in, ayaw ko na umuwi sa boarding house dahil malulungkot lang ako.dahil wala akong kausap.at malamang hindi ako masaya.. at hindi pa nga pala ako nagbabayad ng rent..dahil lagi akong wala sa bahay dahil sa Feasib nga. (ok,redundant!,feasib! feasib! feasib!) Napapagod na ako. Hindi naman ako gagraduate sa May,kaya siguro nakakatamad. At yun kaya siguro ako nalungkot nagpost yung kinaiinisan ko na classmate nung hyskul..na kesyo malapit na daw sya sa finish line.. Ngayon ko narerealize yung mga sinasabi ng tatay ko... o,cge isama narin natin yung nanay ko.. na matindi ang pananampalataya na alam ko ang mga ginagawa ko. Na someday I can be somebody! Hehe oh well, minsan lang hindi ko na kaya. Yeah! =) tulad ngayon na naiiyak na ako pero hindi ako pwedeng umiyak.. oh well..

Here we are,
In the best years of our lives,
With no way of knowing,
When the wheel will stop spinning,
'Cause we don't know where we're going.

And, here we are,
On the best day of our lives,
And it's a go, lets make it last,
So cheers you all to that,
'Cause this moment's never comin' back.

-Moment of Truth by FM Static

Dapat nga pala gagraduate na ako...sa March or sa May ganun sa school ang graduation. well at least hindi dahil nagkabagsak bagsak ako kaya hindi makaalis pero yun parin yun .. hindi ako on time! Hahaha

Habang hinihintay namin kanina yung kagroupmate namin.. narealize ko na,nandun pala kami ni OB sa tapat ng office nung mga scholar..

Ako: Hindi ko man lang naranasan maging scholar....

OB: Nung 1st year, kaya mo nga nakuha yung grade mo sa CWTS

(ok magulo db? ano naman ang connection ng  CWTS sa pagiging scholar,ahh kasi yung mga scholar ..sila lang yung matyaga na kumuha ng grade sa CWTS..hehe at sila lang din yung binigyan ng classcard..)

Ako: Ay oonga pala..pero wala pa akong pakelam nun. Sayang... (sabay tawa)

Tapos nagshift na nga ako at yun. Estudyante parin.. Haha Nakakatuwa talaga ang buhay.. looking at the funny side, imagine,yung classmate mo nung elementary na hindi marunong magbasa mauunahan ka pang grumaduate, yung tipong nasa Row 1 ka at tuturuan mo yung taga Row 4. At ngayon naunahan pa nung taga Row 4 si Taga Row 1. C'mon! Hindi ko sinasabi na proud ako dun dahil isa yung malaking OUCH! Masakit syempre isipin na alam mo sa sarili mo na mas magaling ka, (ano?) tapos yun. Hahahaha ayaw ko ng sabihin. parang quiz lang yan e . Yung tipong nataasan pa nung nangopya yung nakopyahan nya... Bitter! Pero,Hands up talaga ako sa mga batch ko na from start to finish e yun. I mean yung mga taong tama yung decisions from the start. Minsan kasi parang marunong lang akong magstart,hindi ko naman kayang tapusin. Dahil sa middle,nabobored na ako. Hahaha Ayun!

Minsan gusto ko na lang mag-disappear.. tapos yun... pero dba nga meron kang narealize na "kung walang mistake,wala ng learnings.." ano?

Siguro kelangan ko ng ninute by minute i-practice yung special skill ko : the art of Ignoring! Napapahamak ako ka-phiphilosophize.. wow! kaiisip na lang! Masakit pa sa ulo.. at nakakagutom pa. Yun naman ang tendency pag isip tayo ng isip,nagugutom tayo. Kaya pala sexy ako! hahaha natutunan ko yun nung may pera pa ako na pampa-acupuncture.. wahahaha

Ayan. masaya na naman akong nakapag-blog at pending na naman yung assignment ko na ipapasa sa Sat.! hay naku! pero at least masaya na ako,kahit konti. at wala nga pala kong crush ngayon, hehehe.. busy ako. busy! busy! busy! busy! sa bwisit na feasib.feasib.feasib.. at bukas gagastos na naman ako ng bigtime. nanghihinayang na ako sa pera pero dahil nga sa feasib.feasib.feasib. kelangan kong gumastos..

ilibre mo naman ako ng kape, yung mocha 

namimiss ko na.Happy B-day nga pala! pero wala ng kilig factor.Haha dahil sabi nga nung shoutout sa FS nung girlfriend mo happy and all .. kayo na! kayo na ang happy... hehehe kaya lang mukhang napapa-fall for you ako ngayon...tonight will be the night That I will fall for you over again Don't make me change my mind.. adik db? at mukhang gagawa na naman ako ng destiny. Paano? dahil mukhang maiinterview kita dahil sa Feasib! meaning magkikita na naman tayo,dahil engineer ka, magaling na magaling.. kahit na sabi ni Kriza nung isang gabi..hindi daw yung totoo.. yung destiny.. hehe the idea makes me happy so hindi ko muna i-gigive up. kelangan kong maging masaya these days.. para nga pala sa definiton ko ng destiny... haha the bridge that you build to the one you love,oh well from my sassy girl (movie),hindi ba at si Kriza din ang nagsabi saken nun? Oo! Tama!

at ngayon nakikinig ako sa Stolen, bago pa ako magreminisce na naman ay ipupublish ko na ito. at after iisipin ko pa kung itutuloy ko yung assignment ko dun sa isang elective or magbqbloghopping ulit ako. Hahaha

Currently listening to: stolen
Currently feeling: happy and all.. hahaha

Sometimes, I hate the idea that we're together.. that we need to be together..

because

You are my Friend,

my classmate,

my Feasib groupmate etc...

because I end up hurting you and being hurt as well..

Currently listening to: moffats playlist =p
Currently feeling: swings...

New Year na! At medyo weird yung feeling ko.. I feel those jitters..parang b-day lang..Yeah. Monday will be a busy day and in some way I'm ready. Pero syempre susulitin ko ang vacation,tomorrow manonood kami ng movie. And this year (same as the previous year lagi kong ina-attempt na mag-save ng pera!)

And remember yung hula? before mag-end ang year someone will court me. Yeah,someone did thru text nga lang na hindi ko naman naenjoy kung yun na nga ba yun. Hahaha Oh well.. ang kulit kasi so nagreply ako...

"Kung hindi ka magpapakilala tigilan mo na ako at napipikon na ako! Happy New Year and Get l0st! =) "

Mga ilang 7am nya rin akong ginulo. Well, naiisip ko nung una baka nagtritrip lang na ka-batch ko nung hyskul so nung nagreunion kami naki-dial ako ng naki-dial. Tapos wala naman...

kung totoo man yun,gago sya! kumusta naman early in the morning magtetext sya "kung may pag-asa sya saken" I mean, hello? kamusta naman yun?..  out of nowhere and what do you expect? at kung nangtritrip man yun gago din sya,lakas ng tama mo,chong! pero ang saya,alam nya spelling ng name ko.. ohhh

enough.

Currently listening to: =)
Currently feeling: hungry

I  found this interesting blog for the brokenhearted. Hahaha

I don't want to look at you, or talk to you, or be with you, or know you, and I certainly don't want to need you to be who you were when it mattered. I don't want to run into you on the street, and have an awkward moment of nothing to say. I don't want you to worry about me, because there isn't anything you can say or do that we haven't already tried. I don't want YOU. I don't want to be irritated, because it is as much my fault as it is yours (or at least that is what I keep telling myself so I will stop blaming you). I don't want to care, but I do, and I don't want to die knowing that I cared too much, or not enough, or not the ways you needed me to, because it doesn't matter any more. I don't want it to matter in five years, or five minutes, or five seconds, that you have become what I asked you never to be.
A nightmare.

I don't want to go places with people that we both know, knowing that you are going to be a topic at some point, and I don't want everyone to tread lightly in my presence (that lacks the honesty that is the only thing I will ever ask for).I hate the fact that you were such a big thing, and that you didn't know it, or that you did, and I got blown off, because frankly it hurts.(I got the bum end of the deal). I hate the fact that there was such a gross misinterpretation of the situation at some point, and that You were probably responsible, and that I was naive enough to think otherwise.

Having said all that, I don't hate you. I just don't respect you as much as I used to. I used to think you were the greatest person on two legs, and admired your intelligence, and wondered at the things you have accomplished in your few years of life. I used to lie awake at night thinking about you, and wishing you the best in life. . . (I still pray for you. I still hope that you will finish fighting your own nightmares, and find what it is you are looking for.) I still think you are in the wrong. I am bitter, and I just don't want to deal with it, or you right now.

I don't have to send this to you, or post it, or tell you how I feel, because someday you will read this. . . and you won't ever know who it was from, or what it was about, and you won't know that it is to you, and for you. The last thing You'll be getting from me. You won't know, but you'll recognize enough of what I have written to know that no matter who it is from, or for, it is talking straight to your heart. There is enough of the truth here.

I imagine that when/if you do read this, you will find it incredibly enlightening, and you will probably have some half-baked trip into guilt, so right now I am going to tell you that this isn't about you any more. You might want to call me, and ask if I ever wrote something like this, or you might wimp out at even that, and email me. You might want that. . . but I doubt you will do anything. You would rather have that guilt remain unconfirmed so you don't have to deal with it either.

Currently listening to: insensitive
Currently feeling: awake